This is a legitimately fine poem. I say so with my BA in English and Philosophy and my PhD. It’s DAMN HARD to write something like this. Be impressed, yo.
Transcript of poem in screenshot:
First the cracker batter baker bakes a cracker batter batch then the cracker batter mixer door will open and unlatch so the batter mixer nozzle can descend onto the patch where the cracker batter spreads out for the nozzle to attach.
When the cracker mixer nozzle sprays the cracker batter spray and the cracker batch emulsion lies a-soaking in its haze then the cracker batter mixer starts to stir up all the glaze that the final cracker stacker needs to lubricate the way.
Once the cracker stacker handle stacks the cracker batter squares then the cracker batter’s hardened into double stacks of pairs. Now the cracker separator breaks the crackers in the stackers so the wrappers on the stackers fit the finished stacking crackers.
Then they’re distributed to Wal-Mart.
I forgot about this magnificent poem, and you probably did too. Here it is again.
I highly recommend trying to read it aloud, it feels delightful and is almost impossible.
I’ll never be able to reconcile Shel Silverstein’s art and stories with his appearance. He looked like he would gladly murder you with a shard of broken glass and then throw your body directly into a shark.
you have odd notions about masculine faces.
real gentle-lookin’ sneer
really gentle looking when not say, in the grainiest over inked newspaper photo you could find.
buddy it’s literally the photo he put on the back of The Giving Tree
i’m gonna use my hacking powers to do an all pyjama run in pokemon y
Mission parameters set.
Fuck that noise.
YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM
God this is gonna suck when I get to Frost Cavern.
Still holding on tight to that 3DS I don’t have and couldn’t figure out how to get back. Our mom’s probably holding it hostage.
Haha I’m never going back in there in case the game notices I’m not wearing the default outfit and forces me into actual clothes again.
Oh hey, do you want to see how it resolved the issue of not having a full render model?
The short answer is it didn’t.
Every now and then notes for this float past my dash and I’m forcibly reminded that I had to stop because I got trapped behind Nurse Joy’s counter and couldn’t figure out how to leave the Pokémon Center because the camera clipped through the floor into PokéHell.
